Vegas, baby!

Hello again! I’d like to say that I’m back from Vegas well rested and refreshed but to tell you the truth I went clubbing every single night and pretty much only lived a night life while I was there which left me nothing short of exhausted. It was too amazing though. I kind of failed at finishing my best of Vegas posts but I’m hoping this trip is entertaining enough to make up for the missed stories.
We arrived on Saturday and our sole wish for the evening was to go to Strip Hop- a strip/dance club from the music video “Rack City” (http://youtu.be/SCFnewbghps) which we found out would not be poppin’ till like 3 a.m. (which would feel like 4 to me) so I decided to shower and take a nap. About three hours later we met up with Melvin and his friends and went to a club (can’t remember the name) around midnight- which was amazing because the music was awesome and I was the only white person there (YAY!). It was also nice because there was no smoking allowed in the main dance room.


The lady behind us is hating.

After almost three hours we were anxious to hit up Strip Hop so we made our way over there. I have never seen so many big bare booties in my life! There were four main stages with two poles on each that were centered in the dance floor. I was sincerely impressed with some of the tricks these half-naked ladies could do on those poles like I mean they were prob 12 feet tall, on a platform and the would be all the way at the top of them upside down hanging by only their thighs. RIGHT?? With my muscles (or lack of), I would have surely slid right down to my death but they gracefully circled down usually flipping at some point to land in a split. That is what I call mad skills.
Lizette and I also put some dollars on a nice stripper who seemed very polite. I think she was stripping for a cause- like to go to college or something. She gave us lap dances- another first. When it was her turn to take the stage we also supported by throwing some dollars on her. I discovered I am very skilled at making it rain. Somewhere around 5:30 a.m. a big brawl broke out when someone knocked out an NBA player that was there (Marcus something or another) with a bottle. Naturally his whole crew was ready to fight (including Melvin who is related to him somehow)- I was very intrigued to watch but when cops and security started showing up and half the place we swinging punches we realized we should probably get our car from valet. We didn’t get back till after six and I slept from then until 10 a.m. got up, had breakfast then slept again until 2. Lizette and I decided this lifestyle was not easy. I don’t know how Melvin does it!

Almost couldn't get in since I am a pimp.

The NBA guy throwing some money

Poles!

Notice the stripper behind us :)

I was pretty much wiped out the rest of that afternoon- I mean I didn’t sleep till seven in the morning- so it was uneventful and I was cranky. Me – Sleep = Evil lady. I almost wasn’t going to go out but on a whim decided to suck it up and go with them. So that night we went to Vanity at the Hard Rock Hotel which plays awesome music and is very well ventilated (read: less smoke). Also it has the most beautiful bathrooms I’ve ever seen. Like I wanted to stay in there all night. The best part about that night though was running into a regular at the club we frequent in SLC. She is about forty and her club outfit of choice is always shiny, satin, tight, short and strapless. Usually a jewel tone or black. She has cropped blonde hair and big tatas (I assume they are fake but who knows) and she has a serious case of jungle fever. Naturally she was trying to hit on Melvin and Aaron (being the good friend that I am, I watched and laughed rather than helping them out). To be real, she is kind of a ho and I take great pleasure in judging her cougar-esque conquests. (You go girl!)

I look awful but Melvin looks so happy about our free table

Aaron and Lizette

Amazing bathroom that I'm obsessed with


Monday during the day I got a little pool time in (jealous?) but it was pretty cloudy and I was bored so it didn’t last long. That night we had planned to go to Marque (because Melvin, our local club tour guide, told us Mondays at Marque are off the chain). We found out that there was going to be performance there by Red Foo (the guy with the fro from LMFAO) so since I pretty much want to be friends with him, I was pretty excited about it. That day we did some serious shopping for bomb shoes for the night before going to a mind boogling variety show at planet Hollywood which we loved. Finally after the show we found the shoes we were looking for (Lizette’s were six inches tall making her a record-breaking height of 5’5”) and got ready the fasted ever since it was sure to be packed.
Well packed it was. The line was out of control. So we figured, why not try one of the promoters- maybe we could pull some strings. I went up to a friendly fellow who was probably about 5’2” and said, “I think I might be on some kind of list or something…” and believe it or not he pretty much slapped wristbands on us and walked us inside. No line, no paying. That is how everything in my life should be I think. When we got inside, all three floors were absolutely PACKED. And our feet were starting to hurt (especially mine). So we were pretty much over it and about to leave when a guy comes up to us, explains that he is a promoter for the club and offers us our own table. No joke. For free. I love my life. Then when we were tired for the night, on the way out we ran into (drum roll) RED FOO. Who is every bit as funny and pimpin’ in person as he is on his music videos. We didn’t get a picture with him though so that was super depressing.
Even though we vowed to go to bed early that night we didn’t go to sleep till three however passed out immediately and I slept until like 1:30 p.m. And when I woke up the sweats I had been wearing were on my arms and I had just dreamed I was a sea creature. So pretty much I think I did drugs with Red Foo and just forgot about that part.







Since Tuesday was our last night we decided we weren’t going to go out that night and spent about 5-7 hours gambling. We played on a $5 blackjack table for hours without losing money (because we had put so little in) and Lizette kept gambling long after I threw in the towel. Yes, she is still addicted- don’t judge.
That night we decided to go gamble at the Paris since it was next door to our hotel (Planet Hollywood) and on our way out I ran into someone I met at our club out here about a year ago who gave us wristbands to the Chateau the club inside the Paris. Trust me, I wasn’t feeling the idea until I found out they had a wide variety of candy and sweet treats FOR FREE inside. Being a fat child on the inside I couldn’t say no. And that is how we went clubbing four consecutive nights in a row (a streak which we managed to continue when we got home to reach an all time high of 8 nights.)



CANDY!

SNOW CONES!!


Peace out Vegas, for now!

The Best of Vegas: Part 2

The next time I found myself in Vegas was, embarrassingly enough, only about six weeks later. My friend Bruce, who at the time was more of an acquaintance, had a wedding to go to and mentioned that we should make a trip of it. So me, Lizette, Adriana, Bruce and Zach squeezed into Lizett’es compact car and made the trip. The drive, needless to say, was the worst. Luckily I drove the whole time so I actually don’t know how awful it was since I wasn’t ever in the backseat. (Muah-hahahaha!)
A couple of key highlights for the best of this particular trip; first, Bruce speaks Russian. (Or something like that, like really since I can’t understand it I don’t know exactly which language it is, but something like that.) The first day at our hotel, Bruce pretended he couldn’t speak English and he and Zach, who was BTW wearing a speedo, had a hilarious convo with the front desk lady trying to ask for towels to swim. I about died. Also I am guessing the rest of the weekend they suspected we were mail order brides they were delivering from Russia/Ukraine/Whatever country belongs to the language he was speaking. Just a theory, though. Also, let’s face it- the elephant in the room/car the duration of the weekend was how well Zach actually rocked the speedo.

Zach, Lizette, Me, Bruce heading to the strip

In other news, Lizette developed a gambling problem. I attribute this to her great success from our last trip but whatever the reason, she was hooked. She was super distraught that our smoke-free, nice, spa-like pool, amazing bed, continental breakfast, everything you could hope for and for $40/night employee rate- didn’t have a casino. Seriously.

Ahhh, pool time.

We actually made it to a club this time and the best picture of my life is from after when Adriana and I were enjoying some McDonald’s and Lizette, completely sober, looks sch-wasted because she was tired/her feet hurt/she had cramps. Priceless I decided Vegas clubs are not my fav because the music is too techno (and I’m too gangsta) and I hate smoke. Detest it. Wheeze just thinking about it.

She was in serious pain/hating life.

I was clearly in McHeaven.


The last day Lizette reached her breaking point. As we walked about the strip sightseeing and enjoying our day, she stopped at every casino. This time her luck had faded and soon all her cash was gone. Before I knew it she was at an ATM but her debit card wouldn’t scan. “Can you loan me $40?” she ask frantically. Bruce told me I was feeding her addiction but she added ever so sweetly, “You know I’ll win it back!” She didn’t.
Only Lizette (and God) know how much she really lost that day and yet she still wanted to gamble with each casino we passed. I decided I didn’t like gambling as much anymore when I lost $48 (I realize that’s not a lot but it was really depressing because I didn’t win at all in between losing so it took maybe 5 minutes. Ridiculous.)
I guess you could say we left with some broken spirits that trip. Just kidding- all my losses were made up for by the fact that I single handedly got Bruce to love rap music. How could I have asked for a more accomplished trip? (PS Bruce- I promise “Get Buck” volumes 1-10 are really coming soon.)

Side Note: Me and Lizette were back another 3 weeks later but only for a night on our way to LA to go on a cruise so not highly eventful. Next up: My birthday trip- stay tuned!

The Best of Vegas: Part 1

In light of my upcoming Vegas getaway- (leaving this weekend what, what!!) I decided to do a throwback post every day (ish) in honor of some of my favorite Vegas stories. You saw from my first post that I have gone a lot this year and I went even more in 2010- basically I’ve just been a regular since turning 21 and discovering I love to gamble. Like, seriously.
My first real vacay to Vegas was in December 2009. It started as we were only going to stay a night there on our way to San Diego and last minute (literally the night before) turned into just staying there the whole time. (Some people backed out last minute and it ended up being just Lizette and I- typical I know.)
Because it was originally just a one night stop we only had our first night’s hotel booked. We stayed in Treasure Island and our room was glorious- amazing beds, plasma TV’s, up high with a strip view. But with the resort fee tacked on and only us two splitting it we decided we would stay somewhere else for the rest of the time. A few highlights- I lost $20 immediately on the slot machine and was like, “wait isn’t the money supposed to go up, how does this work?” We proceeded to lose/win a lot the remainder of the day.
Late that night we got hungry and figuring that everything in Vegas is probably open all night we ventured off on our own without our car key- everything is in walking distance on the strip right? When we got outside we were super turned around but then in the distance saw familiar red and yellow glowing lights- hello In N’ Out! So we just walked in that general direction until to our dismay we realized it was not in fact a burger joint but a strip club. Do they serve burgers there? Cause who cares I’m hungry. We ended up finding a Denny’s and had a less than satisfying meal.
Other highlights of that first trip: booking the other two nights last minute at Hooters. It was awful especially in comparison to TI and really depressing to my less than curvaceous frame. The pool was pimp and open 24 hours though- we sat in the hot tub for the next 3 days. Just kidding we actually spent 90% of the time gambling. Lizette got really good at the slot machines- if that’s possible- and she was winning like crazy. True story she would put a dollar in and win twenty. I had one big win like that and went to hit cash out and accidentally pushed max bet instead- as I watched the money drain away to nothing that’s when I knew the slots were not for me.
The last night we got really dressed up, went to In N’ Out- finally- and were planning to hit some clubs. Instead all we wanted to do was gamble. In our party dresses. Until sunrise. It was pretty much fate though because we were actually winning at every game we tried that night- more than making up for any previous losses. The next morning right before we left an old man dealing our black jack at Hooters taught us how to play- for real with like a strategy. So he was pretty much the only good thing about that hotel besides the waterfall hot tub.
Buffet at Treasure Island = AH-MAAA-ZING!
Slightly overdressed for a trip to In N' Out
The only good thing about staying at Hooters. (Besides the blackjack dealer who mentored us)
WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER
This is what addiction looks like
Melvin and me
Me and L- Planet Hollywood.
I got home and my family told me that we were going to Vegas as a family literally that Friday. We got home on a Wednesday. So literally I turned around and went back to Vegas. That trip was amazing because everything was paid for by my fam so I got to shop a lot more. Although, it was also less eventful because, well, gambling alone turned out to be not as fun and for some weird reason my mom wouldn’t gamble with me.
My brother (he was 15 then, wth is he so huge?!) LOVE the big Christmas tree
Me and my little brothers.

More stories to come, I’m full of Vegas stories. xx

Our Ghetto Night In

It was a bitter cold day in November. I decided to go home on my break at work, which I never do because it takes 15 minutes to get there so I have to be super speedy. When I arrived I thought to myself, “my apartment seems cold and darker than usual,” however assumed that was because well… the world was colder and darker than usual that day. As I went to leave a yellow flier hanging on our front door caught my eye. Usually I ignore those all together until they pile up and I finally decide to throw them all away but for some reason I grabbed it, shoved it in my purse and hurried down the stairs to my car to go back to work.
I got to work and despite how busy I got with various projects I was undertaking, the yellow slip of paper in my purse kept popping back into my mind. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me and I fetched the now crinkled paper from the bottom of my bag. A notice my power was shut off today?!?! “I have never even received a power bill,” I thought before the shocking realization hit me, “I never received my mail box key when we moved in!!!” A quick call to my apartment complex managements (a.k.a. the dumbest management team in existence) confirmed this unsettling hunch.
When I saw that Lizette and I weren’t off work for another three hours I let out a huge sigh of relief that I could call, pay the bill and get power on by the time we got home. That relief was soon replaced by a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach with the words, “Oh no, it may be too late in the day to get your power on tonight. It’s possible but we might not get there until tomorrow.” I held onto the glimmer of hope when I explained the situation to Lizette who, being rather optimistic, felt assured that by the time we actually got home it would be back on.
That night we nervously made our way up the stairs to our apartment and my anxious hands shook as I unlocked the door to swing open our apartment- pitch black and cold. Lizette hesitantly reached over to the light switch and flipped them back and forth as if moving them enough would cause a surge of electricity to make the lights come on.
“Well,” I said, “looks like they didn’t turn the power on in time.” We looked at each other in dismay, the realization of this night sinking in, and burst out laughing. “We are so ghetto,” I added as we stumbled around with the light of our iPhones trying to find a lighter to light every candle we own. After our apartment was faintly aglow with the flickering candlelight (thank god we have like 10 candles) we picked up my puppy and brought her, along with every blanket we collectively own, into my room to all snuggle together for warmth.
Yeah, within ten minutes we were bored out of our minds in the dim, silent room. Like seriously I don’t know how pioneers or cavemen kept themselves entertained but I imagine they probably slept a lot. Did I mention I got like no sleep the night before? So really I should have just gone to bed, however since it was still very early that seemed ridiculous. I took some Tylenol pm at that point, or maybe sometime before that during the stumbling around I don’t recall, just to make sure when I did go to sleep, I was able to sleep without the sound of my fan. I need white noise to sleep; the silence is way too creepy.
Speaking of creepy, to entertain ourselves we decided to read some novels we had checked out from the library that happened to be murder mysteries. Not smart, I know. Before I could get too into the story, and probably consequently terrified, my stomach reminded me how long it had been since lunch.
“I’m starving,” Lizette said, acknowledging my growling tummy, “Is our oven electic?”
“I have no idea, but obviously I’m hungry too, let’s investigate.” Yes. Our oven is electric. At that discovery, we re bundled ourselves to venture back out into the cold, not that our apartment was warm by any means, to go get some food. Nearly an hour later (we were feeling indecisive) we had our Carl’s Jr. and were having a romantic candle lit dinner. Oh wait, the candles were our only light source. Probably not so much romantic as ghetto. At this point I was super drowsy being all doped up but rather than go to sleep I had the ingenious realization that my laptop was most likely charged and wouldn’t need electricity so to make our night even more classy we decided to watch Glee online from stolen internet. Right when things were getting intense, however, my laptop died. So, not fully charged after all.
As the light faded away from the screen, I gave up on having a normal Tuesday evening and went to bed at 10 p.m. for the first time since this summer when I was working at seven. Oh, and side note- pretty much from when we were getting ready to get food, my memory is as cloudy as a Northwest sky so it was pretty much a bad idea that I drove when I was faded on Tylenol p.m. The next morning- after sleeping 10 hours- our power was on as if nothing had ever happened but we will probably always remember our ghetto night in.

back to blog.

Hola amigos! I've been kind of out of the blogging world for over a year now (unless you count twitter- I'm pretty much a tweeting machine, follow me @xoxokatlocke) but I randomly decided to try giving it a go again. We'll see how long I last this time around.

To fill you in on life I'm now living in the SLC area with my long-time BFF Lizette and work as a Training Specialist. Me and L go clubbing a lot so that's basicall my second job. ;) I still love to travel, travel, travel although I haven't taken any really exciting trips this year (as in I haven't left the country I've still done LA&San Diego/Vegas/Vegas-Newport Beach/Vegas- whoa I just realized I did essentially the same trip 5 times this year). And I'm going to Vegas in like a week. I should prob consider branching out. Good thing a Cancun trip in Feb. is looking likely.

I got my first dog over a year ago- sure enough a yorkie I named Bojangles. She was the sweetest, most calm and well behaved puppy in the world but met an untimely death when she was just shy of a year old. Turns out when she got fixed they used too big of a tube in her throat and it caused extensive damage to her trachea. Two weeks after the surgury it collapsed completely and she just couldn't breathe anymore, which was hands down the saddest day of my life.

RIP Bojangles (8 months old)

When Jodi (the lady I bought her from) heart about this she was heart broken because the same thing had happened to one of her yorkies when they had surgury from the same vet (it is a lot more risky when they are under 5 lbs.) and she offered me one of the puppies from her newest litter. I wasn't sure because it hadn't even been 2 months since Bojangles had passed but I agreed to come and see the 7 puppies (it was technically 2 litters). Well when I got there and Jodi opened the puppy gate they obviously all went nuts to go play but one tiny puppy came straight over to me and when I picked her up she held onto my fingers with her arms and legs like a little koala.

Savannah the little koala

As it turns out, that was the very puppy Jodi had in mind for me. A month later I took Savannah home and I'm so happy I got her. I don't feel like I replaced Bojangles at all because they are so different- Savannah is as feisty as Bojangles was mild mannered. I don't know if I will get her fixed, she is even tinier than Bo- not even 3 lbs. yet and I think will end up being a full pound less full grown (I'm estimating 3.2 and Bojangles was 4.3).

Savannah's most recent picture 6 months old

I love both my little puppies and wish Bojangles hadn't passed when she did because I think they could have been best friends.

I'm closing with some recent pictures.


Me, Lizette & Cheryl


Lizette (Princess Jasmine), D (Nerd), Cheryl (Hippie Chick), Me (Tinkerbell) on Halloween.

xx